Tall, Dark and handsome
by Dramaphile
Summary: this is the first fic I ever wrote. I realize it's bad, thats why I posted it. It's funny because it's so terrible.Mulder puts out a personal ad and scully answers it. bad fic ensues


My very first fanfic.  
This is the very first fanfic I wrote back just over two years ago when I was just a baby Phile and a hopeless shipper romantic. I was also a pretty bad writer. It's amazing what writing fanfic does to your writing skills! This is purely for the comic relief, I have no desire for a critique, and you can say it's bad because I definitely won't be offended. It IS bad! The characters are totally off, and I thought they were close, the storyline is improbable and it's just plain badly written in general! This is typed solely from my original copy in a very battered spiral-bound notebook without any revisions. I hope you enjoy!  
Rating: G  
Categories: Romance, is there a category just for bad fic? Humor is only because it's bad  
Disclaimer: not mine not mine not mine. Sorry it's so terrible. I do much better now, really!  
  
  
Tall, Dark and Handsome  
By Drama  
  
Tall, Dark and Handsome, likes dancing, long car trips that go nowhere, and snuggling. Seeking a single female ages 25-35 who wants mystery and excitement. Call 555-1632  
Mulder put his pen down.   
"Could I get any more pathetic?" He was feeling lonely and since he couldn't have the one woman he wanted, he would just have to settle for a blind date from a want ad.  
  
8:00 pm Thursday  
Scully opened the newspaper. She scanned through the personal ads.   
"I cannot believe I'm doing this. I'll probably just end up with some fat pervert who wants to grab my ass." She saw and interesting ad: "Tall, Dark and handsome.. call 555 1632"  
"Hmm... Sounds like an interesting guy... a lot like Mulder-but he's not." She sighed. He was the reason she was searching the personal ads for a date. She had to get her mind off of him.  
"I'll call right now... Hmm, this number seems familiar" (Mulder's number is always on speed dial)   
She dialed slowly.   
"Hello?"  
"Hi. My name is uh... Jill and I'm calling about your ad. I really want to meet you, you sound like an interesting guy." Is it just me, or do I sound really desperate? Scully thought.  
"Okay, I'll meet you tomorrow night at La Bella Note."   
"Okay.. wait, how will I know you?"  
"I'll be carrying a single white rose."  
"Okay, it's a date"  
Mulder put the phone down. "Now where the hell am I going to find a white rose?"  
  
7:00 pm, Friday night  
Scully rummaged through her closet. She found a short black dress and slipped it on. She brushed her hair and looked for the perfect shade of lipstick to wear.  
  
7:00 pm, Friday, Mulder's Apt.   
Mulder opened his closet door. "Hmm." He looked at its contents. Should I wear my grey shirt and jeans, or a suit? He pondered it for several minutes and decided on his grey t shirt with slacks and a leather jacket.  
"Perfect" he said.   
  
7:50 pm Friday Scully's apt  
Scully finished buckling her strappy shoes and gave her makeup a quick look in the mirror. She grabbed her purse and headed out the door to the tiny, romantic café.   
  
7:50 pm Friday Mulder's apt.  
Mulder checked his watch. "7:50! Oh crap, the rose!" he rushed to his car and drove to the florist.  
He opened the door to the shop.  
"Can I help you?" said the woman behind the counter. "Yes. I need a white rose."  
"I'm sorry, we're all out. How about a yellow or pink one?" Mulder thought for a moment. He didn't have time to go to another florist. "Fine, I'll take a yellow one, and hurry."   
He paid for the rose and hurried to La Bella Note.  
When he arrived, he found Scully standing outside.  
"Scully, what are you doing here?"  
"I'm waiting for my date... he's ten minutes late!"   
"Oh, so who is he?"  
"Don't know." Mulder gave her a funny look, Scully explained. "It's a blind date."  
"Yeah, me too."  
Scully shivered in the cold evening air.  
"Why don't we go inside and wait." Said Mulder.  
  
8:20 pm La Bella Note  
Mulder turned to Scully.  
"Well, looks like we've been stood up. Why don't we get a drink or something?"  
"Okay" They sat down at a table near the back of the tiny café. A waiter approached them. "Can I get you some drinks?"  
Mulder looked up.  
"Sherry for me." "White wine, please." The waiter wrote down their orders and left. They talked for the best part of 15 minutes and then their drinks arrived. That's when Mulder started to open up, "You know, I shouldn't have expected her to show up anyway."  
"Why?" Scully took a sip of her wine.  
"it was a stupid idea anyway, trying to find a date with a want ad." Scully nearly spit out her wine. She swallowed quickly. Finally, it all clicked: the rose, the café, Mulder, it wasn't all just a coincidence.  
"Did you say want ad?"  
Mulder looked up. "Yeah, why?"  
Scully started slowly, almost whispering.  
"Tall dark and handsome likes d-dancing, long car trips that go nowhere and snuggling. Seeking single female ages thi " Mulder cut her off.  
"How did you know that?" Scully took a deep breath.  
"Hi! My name is Jill and I'll be your date tonight" Mulder looked as if his jaw was going to drop to the floor.  
"but... how in the... I-I... whoa." Scully spoke up. "Don't think I'm not as surprised as you are."  
"How could you not know it was me? Don't you know my phone number?"  
"I'm technologically dependent. I always use speed dial."  
"What are the odds, one in 16 zillion?"  
"Probably... You don't think... no."   
Mulder looked up.  
"I don't think what?"  
"Maybe it was fate that brought us together here."  
"Do I need my hearing checked or did I just hear Agent Dana Scully the Skeptic say 'Fate'?"   
"I'm not joking."  
"Are you feeling alright? Maybe it's the alcohol talking."  
Scully leaned across the table.  
"Mulder? Could you do me a favor?"  
"Sure, anything."  
"just shut up and kiss me already"  
"okay, if you insist."  
~fin~  
  
just so you know that I'm not really a terrible writer like this fic suggests, check out my profile and if you like angst, read Fallen or my The Lover After Me series. If you prefer comedy, I would suggest Dog in the Fowl House or Talk Show Fever. Hope fully that'll change your opinion of my writing skills...  
  
Feedback makes the world go round!  



End file.
